My Dearest Government Officials,
Gather ’round, for I must warn you of a creature more cunning than the Big Bad Wolf – the Hydrogen Lobbyist. Like poor Little Red Riding Hood, you may find yourself wandering through the dark forest of energy policy, where this crafty creature lies in wait.

“My, what big promises you have!” you might say. “All the better to secure funding with, my dear,” they’ll reply.

“My, what impressive efficiency claims you have!” “All the better to ignore thermodynamics with, my dear.”

“My, what expensive infrastructure plans you have!” “All the better to lock in fossil fuel assets with, my dear.”

Be wary, precious officials, when they dress up fossil gas in green hydrogen clothing. Unlike Grandmother’s nightgown, this disguise costs billions in taxpayer money. And much like the wolf’s implausible impersonation of Grandma, their math somehow makes losing 70% of energy in conversion sound like a winning strategy.

Remember, dear ones – while you’re skipping down the policy path with your basket of public funds, that sensible solutions like insulation and heat pumps are the real woodcutter in this tale. They may not tell exciting stories about magical hydrogen rainbows, but they’ll actually save your constituents from the big bad energy bills.

Take care not to be fooled by those big hydrogen eyes, big hydrogen ears, and especially those big hydrogen teeth ready to bite into the public purse. As your fairy godmother of physics would tell you: the laws of thermodynamics are not just helpful suggestions, no matter how charmingly the wolf tries to huff and puff and blow them down.

Stay safe in these dark policy woods, Your Concerned Energy Efficiency Advocate

P.S. If a lobbyist tries to tell you their hydrogen is different because it’s wearing a “blue” or “green” hood, remember – a wolf in any coloured clothing is still a wolf.